I started the day with googling, "how to choose true friends". I know it's a bit weird to start your day but lately I find it hard to accept the fact that friendships change along the way of your life, contradicts my believe that once the person becomes your good friend, it stays that way until you die. Unfortunately, among all the articles and blogs that I've read through, none seems realistic to what I have believed in since kindergarden.
Back to the googling, google has provided me many results. All were interesting especially there were a few links on step by step guide to choosing friends, good friends and true friends (three different category). It looks like I'm not the only one having trouble on putting people on different circles. It seems like the whole world is sharing the same trouble in their life.
Life would be simpler if we can just follow the step by step guide provided by the ehow.com on choosing friends. It also provides friendship quotes that could help you identify your friend belongs to which circle, whether just a normal friend, probably a good friend or if you're lucky, a true friend.
As for me, I don't have that kind of list where I categorized my friends in three different circles. To be honest, I have my own list which basically looks like a priority list. The list is basically made from the period of which I've known that person, and I have never re-prioritize people in the list eventhough the new friends that I made are somewhat closer to me. All my life, I've been making decisions based on this list, and making things weirder, I've never slashed anyone out from the list eventhough bad things had happened, because to me, friendships do not just end like that and we cannot separate human nature and conflicts from our lives. What we need to do is to learn how to deal with it and move on.
Apart from that, I always practice honesty, but I would only expect this from myself only and not from others since not everyone is the same. I do have friends who continuously 'lie' to maintain friendships and I also have friends who let themselves be hypocrites to gain and maintain more friends. I was not able to grasp these people as good friends at first, but after 25 years of living, I begin to accept the fact that everyone has their own quality and unique. So I've started to love these people for what they are, but of course I have my own threshold which is not to the extent where their uniqueness would hurt other of my higher priority friends or me.
Some of the things that I do did not turned out to be understandable by other people surrounding me. Little did they know that everything I do is for the benefits of other people and not mine but they did not see that and I'm just not that kind of person who parades the things I've done. Some of the issues turned out bad for me, eventhough the intention was different. I told my mum about this and the only thing that she could say was this happen because I care too much for other people than myself, especially when people misinterpret your doings.
Probably it's true. I'm not saying that I'm all nice but there were few occasions that I was being somewhat mean (and honest of course) for the benefits of the other person. It did not occur to me that things I say or things I do would make the person turn his/her back on me. Fortunately, most of the issues that I've went through have been resolved.
But still, closer friends, the ones who are least expected, can hurt you more than normal friends. No doubt.
And I'm learning to accept that.
For the rest of my friends whom I've hurt unintentionally in my 25 years of living, I hope you can forgive me because again, I have my reasons for doing so, and it's because of you, and not me.
Back to the googling, google has provided me many results. All were interesting especially there were a few links on step by step guide to choosing friends, good friends and true friends (three different category). It looks like I'm not the only one having trouble on putting people on different circles. It seems like the whole world is sharing the same trouble in their life.
Life would be simpler if we can just follow the step by step guide provided by the ehow.com on choosing friends. It also provides friendship quotes that could help you identify your friend belongs to which circle, whether just a normal friend, probably a good friend or if you're lucky, a true friend.
As for me, I don't have that kind of list where I categorized my friends in three different circles. To be honest, I have my own list which basically looks like a priority list. The list is basically made from the period of which I've known that person, and I have never re-prioritize people in the list eventhough the new friends that I made are somewhat closer to me. All my life, I've been making decisions based on this list, and making things weirder, I've never slashed anyone out from the list eventhough bad things had happened, because to me, friendships do not just end like that and we cannot separate human nature and conflicts from our lives. What we need to do is to learn how to deal with it and move on.
Apart from that, I always practice honesty, but I would only expect this from myself only and not from others since not everyone is the same. I do have friends who continuously 'lie' to maintain friendships and I also have friends who let themselves be hypocrites to gain and maintain more friends. I was not able to grasp these people as good friends at first, but after 25 years of living, I begin to accept the fact that everyone has their own quality and unique. So I've started to love these people for what they are, but of course I have my own threshold which is not to the extent where their uniqueness would hurt other of my higher priority friends or me.
Some of the things that I do did not turned out to be understandable by other people surrounding me. Little did they know that everything I do is for the benefits of other people and not mine but they did not see that and I'm just not that kind of person who parades the things I've done. Some of the issues turned out bad for me, eventhough the intention was different. I told my mum about this and the only thing that she could say was this happen because I care too much for other people than myself, especially when people misinterpret your doings.
Probably it's true. I'm not saying that I'm all nice but there were few occasions that I was being somewhat mean (and honest of course) for the benefits of the other person. It did not occur to me that things I say or things I do would make the person turn his/her back on me. Fortunately, most of the issues that I've went through have been resolved.
But still, closer friends, the ones who are least expected, can hurt you more than normal friends. No doubt.
And I'm learning to accept that.
For the rest of my friends whom I've hurt unintentionally in my 25 years of living, I hope you can forgive me because again, I have my reasons for doing so, and it's because of you, and not me.
